More Waiting

Lamentations 3:25 "The LORD is good to those who wait for Him..."

We found out a couple nights ago that the EARLIEST possible date we could return to bring our kids home is March 2nd. It was a little disappointing because we were hoping for an earlier February date. We have seen throughout our process, however, that God's timing is perfect, so we will continue to trust in Him to bring our kids home at just the right time.

God's Timing

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven…” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Like many adopting families, we have questioned God’s timing along the way. “Why is this taking so long? Why are other families passing us in the process?” Though often we don’t get to see God’s purposes for delays, Tim and I received the answers to these questions on our trip- another gift!

Before going to Ethiopia, we heard about Woudeneh’s (our facilitator's) sister who, just a few months ago, collapsed at the transition house while working as a nanny. We prayed with other adopting families from our agency for her healing and protection. Therefore, it shouldn’t have surprised us when God answered. The people He used to answer, however, were what blew us away!

You see, there was a couple staying in the transition house while in Ethiopia for their court visit who just so happened to be in the medical field- he a doctor and she a nurse. Had they not been there to correctly diagnose the problem, Woudneh’s sister very likely would not have made it. Not only did they order the correct medication, they arranged for her to be flown to New York where a specialist could perform an emergency heart surgery that saved her life. By God’s grace she is now recovering here in the states while gaining energy to go home.

As Woudeneh told us the story from his perspective, we were reminded of how personal this was to him. We had no idea how we too had benefited from God’s timing in this couple’s process. Woudeneh went on the explain how this was a couple that frustrated him last spring by turning down a referral for three children – OUR THREE CHILDREN! They had initially accepted the referral for Chernet, Mulu, and Ruby and were preparing come for their court date, but knew immediately they weren’t theirs when they saw an updated picture that showed Chernet was clearly older than 5. Their request had been a sibling group of 3-younger than 6. At the time Woudeneh couldn’t understand how they saw our kids’ picture and knew they weren’t their children. “How could they say no to these precious children who need a family?” Of course now he understands how, and we told him how we can completely relate because we knew from the moment we laid eyes on Chernet, Mulu and Ruby that they were ours!

Had this family not changed their mind just before their court date with our three children, they would not have been there at just the right time to save his sister’s life. And we would not be adopting these three we feel God has handpicked for our family. Praise God!

Ecclesiastes 11:5 “Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.”

Day 4- COURT

Day 4- COURT
Psalm 127 “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors; for he gives to His beloved even in his sleep. Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior; So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.”

This was the day our “house” would grow if it was God’s will. It was the day we have looked forward to for 13 months- the day Chernet, Mulu and Ruby would become Rowes. Needless to say, we were full of emotion as we got up early and prepared for the day. The plan was to have breakfast, shop for berbere (an Ethiopian spice some friends of ours asked us to pick up), have lunch, and then go to the courthouse by 1:00.

All 8 of us excitedly climbed into the van and headed out, hopeful to be back at the transition house with our kids by the end of the day. The hunt for berbere turned into a wild goose chase but it did keep us busy and entertained as we waited for our court appearance. At about 10:30, Woudeneh’s wife, Betey, (our guide that day) got a call from him and was instructed to bring us to the courthouse immediately. Apparently things were moving faster than planned and it was our turn.

We were only a few minutes away and didn’t have enough time to get more nervous about the monumental thing that was about to take place. The next hour we would be moved in and out of rooms in a surreal daze that would build into an explotion of emotion as we later processed it all. There really is no way to describe the thoughts and feelings we experienced on this day – the day our children became ours. We will forever be grateful for each God ordained moment that is etched in our memories.

We walked into a large room with chairs lining the four walls. There were available seats scattered around with some excited adoptive parents standing in the middle of the room. Filling the chairs were not only adoptive parents but birth parents as well. Before being called into the room where the judge was ruling, I spotted our kids’ birthfather. It was unmistakable. So much so that Tim immediately agreed. His resemblance to Mulu was striking, such a handsome man, short like Chernet too. I wondered if, in the moment that time seemed to stop and we made eye-contact, if he knew we were the ones. Could have been he was just thinking, “why is she staring at me!” Hopefully not. He was sitting next to our friends, the Sweeneys. He actually stood and offered Ryan his chair but sat back down next to Lesley when Ryan insisted. His identity was confirmed when the door opened and the clerk called “Kingdom Vision International” and he stood and followed Woudeneh in with two other birth mothers.

In only a few minutes, the door reopened and they walked back to their seats and we were called in by name with two other couples who had children at the other KVI orphanage in Nazaret (our new friends). We sat and waited for the questions. The judge asked us which agency we were working with and if they had prepared us to parent these children. She asked us if we had children and if they were prepared for this life change. Tim’s favorite question was whether or not we understood that this was irrevocable. All three couples answered with a resounding “YES”. She then said something about waiting for paperwork and our agency that afternoon. Woudeneh stood and motioned us to the door. All 6 of us exited with puzzled looks, which of course concerned the other people waiting in the room. “What happened in there?” we all wondered and asked.”What piece of paperwork is missing?” Before we could question Woudneh, he called the two other couples in our group into the room. A few moments later, they returned and we followed them back down the hall to exit the building. When we finally had the opportunity to ask Woudeneh if we passed, he smiled and said, “What do you mean? Of course you did!” He explained how the paper processing is a formality and the judge must have forgotten to say what she usually does, “Congratulations!” Apparently a meeting had been scheduled for her at the last minute for that afternoon and she was trying to clear her calendar by combining families that morning and quickly work through court proceedings. Our tears of joy came there in the stairwell as we were ushered back to the van across the street. Here we would wait to meet with the birth parents if they agreed.

Two of the families in our group met with their chidren’s birth parents at a restaurant just next to the courthouse. When they were finished, they loaded back into the van with us and we were told our meetings would take place at the orphanage. When we entered the gate of the orphanage, we immediately saw him sitting on the curb waiting for us. The next 30 minutes was priceless as we were able to (through a translator) thank him for the opportunity to love and care for his children. We gave him a photo album of the pictures we had of the children plus pictures of their new home, family and friends in Kentucky. We were able to take pictures and even videotape him giving a blessing over the kids. The most touching part was when the sincere love for his wife was clearly seen through tears as he described what happened to her. We initially assumed it was a sickness brought on by the drought in the area they lived but discovered this wasn’t the case at all. She actually died unexpectedly at 9 months pregnant with their 4th child. We embraced and said our goodbyes before getting back into the van that was becoming our emotional processing chamber.

Still reeling from the events of the morning, we were taken to a nice hotel for lunch. A few hours later we made it back to the transition house where some of our kids were already settling in and playing. We loved on them, played with them, took pictures with them, and again had to say goodbye before going to another restaurant- this time a traditional Ethiopian restaurant where we could experience more of the culture. It sounds like a great way to end an amazing day but honestly all we wanted was to be with the kids and show them how God had chosen us as their new family.

Days 2 and 3

Day 2:
After enjoying an American breakfast (with an Ethiopian flare) at our transition house, we headed out for Nazaret. It is a city a couple hours outside of Addis (the capital). Two of the other couples with us had children at an orphanage there. Although it meant we wouldn’t get to spend any time with our kids this day, we were glad to get to be with our new friends as they met their children. It really was an unexpected gift to get to be a part of a special moment for these families- one we will always cherish. You can see in the pictures, how precious this time was!

We enjoyed lunch and a tour of the countryside together which included feeding monkeys at a park. In addition to the bananas, our eyes were peeled along the way but we saw no signs of lions, elephants or zebras- just more cows, goats and donkeys.

The Sweeneys stayed the night in Nazaret to be able to spend one more morning with their baby while we and the Borders came on back to the transition house. We were looking forward to one more visit on Monday before the big day- COURT.

Day 3:
We were so excited to get back to the orphanage where we could spend some time with our kids. Just before we arrived, however, Woudeneh informed us that Chernet wasn’t there- he was in school. We asked about going there or just staying longer at the orphanage so we could see him but could tell it wasn’t a great idea. Therefore, we decided to go with the flow and enjoy our time with the girls. The “no photographing” rule was strictly enforced and we were unable to even take pictures when it was us alone with them. Again, we remembered the suggestion to be polite and not question the nannys or other orphanage workers and just focused on playing with Mulu and Woubet.

We blew up a couple punch ball (balloons), chased after small bouncy balls, shared peanut butter crackers and hershey kisses, and let them have free reign of the pens in my journal (thanks again, Cassie! They loved it!!!). We watched as Mulu shared everything she had with her little sister. We discovered a strong bond between the two of them in the short two hours we were there. It was precious!

The two hours went by so fast and right on time we heard the beeping of the van as it backed into the open gate. We headed back to the Borders kids’ orphanage to pick Lewis and Margaret up then went to lunch and prepared for the shopping excursion.

The consensus over lunch was to try the market where the bartering was more challenging but potentially more rewarding. Thankfully, we had some pros with us- real salesmen, who were up for the challenge. Tim and I decided to just follow their lead. This was our Ethiopian street experience- unforgettable! The best deal was a drum we purchased for Victor. Thanks to Ryan’s bargaining tactics, the salesman begged us to take it for half of the "original" price.

The day was full of once in a lifetime experiences. We saw heart wrenching signs of poverty as beggars approached us asking for money. Many of them children- such an injustice. It reminded us of what a mess sin has made of this world we live in. Thankfully, it is only temporary and our God is a god of justice. Psalm 146 reminds us,

"How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them; who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed; who gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets the prisoners free. The LORD opens the eyes of the blind; The LORD raises up those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous; The LORD protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow,but He thwarts the way of the wicked."

After this amazing day of sights and experiences, we returned to the transition home to gear up for the purpose of our trip- court (day 4).

Our trip for court (day 1)

Happy New Year!

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Cor. 5:17

We are so thankful for the new life we received when we decided to go all in with Jesus. Sure it was a risk, trusting in something/someOne we couldn’t completely see with our eyes, although evidence of His activity was (and still is) all around. And now, as we enter into 2011, we get to begin another new chapter in our lives as a family of eight. Unaware of the challenges we’ll face, God promises that His “lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning, Great is (His) faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23. Thank goodness! And how exciting!

Our hope and prayer is that God will use our story to motivate others to follow His call in their lives to experience the blessings of adoption. We certainly are examples of how He can accomplish much with little. Evidence of that is in a previous post about our adoption expenses.

The following is the beginning of an abbreviated version of our first trip to Ethiopia. Of course we are still processing much of what we experienced and for the sake of brevity, many details will not be included. If anyone is interested in more information, however, about our process or experiences, please don’t hesitate to ask- we’d love to share!

Traveling:
We were so excited to see our children that we couldn’t relax and sleep on the 12 hour flight. We arrived at 9:30 am Ethiopia time which was 1:30am our time. One of the first things Woudeneh said at the airport was, “no resting today- too much to do.” Thankfully, the adrenaline kept us awake and excited about our first day in Ethiopia.

Day 1 (Saturday):
We went straight to the transition house (a place for West Sands couples to stay where children also stay between passing court and going home- a brilliant idea), and settled in our rooms before having lunch. We then headed to the orphanage to meet our kids. Out of the four couples traveling together, there were 3 orphanages to visit, in two days. We learned that we would all go together on these initial visits. Although it made us look like a documentary crew, we were happy to have friends there taking pictures and videotaping so we could concentrate on enjoying that initial meeting. Obviously, we quickly bonded with the other couples with us!

Ours was the first orphanage the group would visit. The expectations were lowered a bit when just before entering, we were told not to tell the children the purpose of our visit, nor to take pictures of ANYONE other than our kids. This, plus the fact that we couldn’t speak their language made the initial meeting a bit awkward- but forever preciously etched in our minds. You can see in the pictures how hesitant Chernet and Mulu were to our affection. Woubet, on the other hand, had no trouble loosening up. Thankfully, God gave us a peace and joy about this meeting and although we didn’t want to leave, we loaded back into the van only 30-40 minutes after arriving.

(more to come)

We Made It!

Other than the inability to communicate with friends and family through email or our blog, our trip to Ethiopia for court was flawless. Thankfully we could use facebook to send short updates.

Our experience meeting the kids, going to court, and meeting their birth father could not have gone more smoothly. There is so much to tell but we still have a few days of celebrating Christmas and this battle with jet lag, so we'll post a few pictures now and save the details for later.

Thanks!

We made it to DC through the ice and snow and even have time to rest before the flight to Ethiopia tomorrow. God is good!

Leaving the kids was harder than I expected because we discovered just before leaving that Tommy has strep throat. There's not much worse for a mommy than to leave her kids for a week when they are sick! Thankfully, God has given us awesome friends and family who will take great care of them while we are gone. Because of the storm, we took an earlier flight hoping to avoid the delays. Although it gave us peace of mind concerning our flight schedule, it meant one more night away from Tommy, Victor and Vanessa which also made the departure a little harder. Again though, I'm continually reminded that they are in great hands and will probably have too much fun this week to miss us.

Thank you, Cassie, Kerrin, Mom and Dad, Julie ,and Jenny for your willingness (and eagerness) to watch them for us while we are away this WEEK before Christmas!

Thank you, Nicole, for being ready to watch Vanessa, and thanks, Molly, for understanding that now isn't a good time for you or your mommy or daddy to get strep throat! Vanessa can't wait for that overnighter once we're all home.

Thank you, Katie, for taking care of our house and for volunteering to wrap up some tasks I didn't finish, and thanks, Taylor, for caring for our feathered friends.

Thank you, Tom and Loreatha, for keeping Jazzy, transporting our van from the airport, planning to pick us up from the airport, and filling in the gaps that may be created while we are away.

Thank you, Amy, for all you did (and loaned us) to help us prepare for what is to come. As we've said before, if it weren't for your example, we wouldn't be here!

Thank you, Susan, Cindy, and Lesley for the imperative part you've played in this story as our adoption agency.

Thank you Denise, Kelli, Donna, and Nikki for the encouragement and tips from your experiences.

Thank you, Vanessa, for your enthusiasm, prayers and support.

And most importantly, to everyone who has offered to help and/or pray for us in this radical endeavor, thank you! God is clearly hearing and answering your requests to give us strength and peace.

Thanks!
Love,
Tim and Alicia